Nowadays I don't suddenly stop to look at a rainbow, I'm no more a child but, but, why doesn't the child in me do so ? It's been long that I've flown a paper kite or floated a paper boat or ran after a falling kite, but why hasn't my child inside ? No more do I dance madly to the tune of heavy downpour, but why doesn't this child ? What is wrong with him ? These thoughts kept murmuring until I discovered the reason myself, all at once all of a sudden. And it hit me with a jolt. It was a fine holiday morning. We were playing Hide and Seek. Me and my child hardly do we play anymore. Hardly do I have the time. Holidays to me were just like a recess between classes. So after a point I left seeking for my hidden child. He kept his hints ongoing, but I was done. I had already sat with my extras to be completed and to those hints, cries and pleas my hands reached not. Till my child, now a broken toy, promised not to seek for me in his games anymore... And I was left in awe. Something had hit me. These days I'd been thinking of it as a problem of my child but, but it IS rather the other way around. Maybe his infancy has never had a companion, maybe it was just like the game of Hide and Seek. Maybe it was there, or maybe concealed but my hands never sought them out. No I should not use a 'maybe' but a 'definitely' ! ALAS.... But the realization is enough, enough for now to begin with once again. Once again to keep the child in me alive.
Susmita Chakraborty (Masters in English)